Cornell's Intergroup Dialogue Project

Please enjoy my final paper for the Intergroup Dialogue Project course I took during my Fall 2018 semester at Cornell.

Intergroup Dialogue has vastly improved my communication skills by exposing me to the Cycle of Socialization, Oppression, and Liberation. The Cycle of Socialization allowed me to recognize my privilege and preconceived notions adopted from outside influences, the Cycle of Oppression exposed me to forms of oppression I was unaware of, and the Cycle of Liberation revealed my potential to reduce inequality as an ally (Harro). Allies are dominant group members in society, or agents, who work to dismantle oppression forms from which they receive benefit (Ayvazian). I also learned how to empathize, understand, and support others by using tools including LARA and strategic questioning. The LARA method is a useful way to navigate conflict, and involves listening, affirming, responding, and adding information. Strategic questioning is a tool that ignites change by challenging the listener and person being questioned to form solutions (Peavy). Both tools enabled me to (a) perspective take - which involves understanding the perspective of others by picturing myself in their situation, (b) collaborate effectively with my Collaborative Learning Project (CLP) group, and (c) form meaningful friendships with peers. Now that the course is over, I am ready to apply my skills to the outside world, raise awareness of my CLP project topic, and serve as an ally.

Social Identity:

My peers and I have grown intellectually and emotionally throughout this semester. Prior to my enrollment in this course, reflecting upon privileges of my social identity was an activity unbeknown to me. I often considered myself a target, or disadvantaged member of society, as a minority woman when it came to job applications or treatment from others. I was once ungrateful for the advantages I grew up with as a middle-class household member including having a home, a college-preparatory high school education, and the privilege of believing in the American Dream. I could be a target depending on the topic, but I am also an agent because of the resources I have had access to throughout my life. I once thought agents were viewed as enemies, but I now know agents can be allies. Allyship is crucial to implementing change as numerous institutional and cultural influences including family, friends, school, religion, and media affect individual opinions. I once viewed gentrification, the process of renovating a house or district so that it conforms to a middle-class state, as an economic improvement to an area.  Property owners indeed enjoy the benefits of seeing their property value increase as a result of new construction and renovated properties close by. My perspective changed during an activity where students took a stance on gentrification and used the LARA method to share perspectives. Through this activity, I learned about the relationship between structural discrimination and gentrification, as well as the loss of culture, art, and homes. My hesitance to stick with my original opinion was my first step towards becoming an aspiring ally for altruism (Edwards). In recognizing the privileges of being raised in a predominantly caucasian middle-class neighborhood of similar demographics, I grew guilty about my original opinion. Once I was informed, I changed my stance which is something I later noticed resulted from my CLP project. After hearing testimonials of my classmates, I realized everyone endures personal struggles and noticed my lack of awareness of many oppressions related to SES. One reading,“White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” by Peggy McIntosh, impacted my self-reflection as I could relate to an original lack of awareness. McIntosh opened my eyes to the fact that my privilege prevents equality. Equality only exists when advantaged groups are willing to give something up or “disadvantage” themselves, similar to a balance beam (McIntosh). Likewise, the fishbowl activity impacted me by revealing the negative effects of an untrue popular opinion from agents. During our caucus group meeting, the agent group pinpointed education as a way agents differ from targets, yet there was a miscommunication when addressing this pinpoint during the fishbowl activity. A few targets thought agents believed that target parents didn’t emphasize education as much as agent parents, rather than agents acknowledging an education gap. This caused tension between both groups and turned the fishbowl experience into a toxic debate. Once we resolved the miscommunication, groups formed kinder opinions towards each other and the education gap became a topic later addressed.

Group Interaction and Communication:

Group interactions should not have to be aggressive arguments. The purpose of debate is to win an argument, while all participants win or lose together in dialogue. “What Makes Dialogue Unique” distinguishes dialogue by three characteristics: equality in the absence of coercive influences, empathy, and assumptions brought into the open (Yankelovich). Assumptions must be brought up carefully, however, since hurtful assumptions and a lack of empathy can transform dialogue into debate as witnessed from the fishbowl experience. “Listening with Empathy: Taking the Other Person’s Perspective” describes empathy as the ability to experience similar feelings as someone else, identify with that person, pay attention to that person’s feelings, and attend to how our own feelings resonate with theirs (McCormick). Without empathy, dialogue is a discussion in which perspectives are merely heard and unexplored. In dialogue, opinions are explored and challenged, which requires active listening and understanding. These are skills demonstrated through strategic questioning and the LARA method. Overall, dialogue patterns among my classmates and I have mirrored group interaction theories described in course readings. As we practiced LARA more, conversations grew insightful and civilized--especially once we witnessed the consequence of forgetting empathy. During one activity, a classmate entered the danger zone and tension recurred when the class did not empathize well enough nor properly affirm. Thus, understanding empathy has contributed most to my learning as it allowed me to truly learn about different perspectives judgement-free. My understanding, as well as my CLP group members’ understanding of dialogue, has impacted our interaction and communication with each other by allowing us to communicate thoughtfully. Our understandings also allowed for effective compromise to occur when deciding on project writing, interviews, and our presentation. My participation in class added an optimistic dynamic to my section and CLP group as I made conscious efforts to enthusiastically share personal and outside examples in order to contribute to everyone’s learning process. I also neutralized stressful moments by drawing connections between contrasting stances when affirming. Within my CLP group, I shied from taking the lead role after learning that agents tend to take charge. Instead, a female target and a male agent took charge within our team, which I believe minimized the potential for conflict and added diversity. In fact, my group only faced conflict when deciding on a solution for the student contribution fee, which we resolved through compromise and use of the LARA method. This experience differed from my experience with conflict in other venues as those tend to result in debate. During family discussions about politics, my parents are often unwilling to accept opposing viewpoints, making dialogue more difficult and debate nearly inevitable. My family, friends, and hometown contributed towards shaping my original narrow-minded perspectives. I was able to look past such influences during dialogue, as mentioned earlier, because of the new skills I have gained. LARA and strategic questioning are now two of the greatest tools I can bring to other contexts of my life, including professional settings since communication is highly regarded by job recruiters. I hope to demonstrate my professionalism by applying these skills towards the recruitment process I was once too intimidated to take part in. I once feared applying for investment banking internships because of my social identity as a minority woman despite wanting to rise in SES by working in finance which is a male-dominated industry. For this reason, Rosemary Bray’s article “How Did I Get Here,” resonated with me most as I was inspired by her ability to go from low to higher SES and attend Yale. She wrote that every adult woman needs economic security and autonomy, which I fully believe, and reminded me of a time when my family’s “avenue of escape” was narrow (Bray). Despite not having affluence nor major employer connections, my parents have sacrificed to provide me the best education possible, which I must better appreciate by using my new skills to be a competitive applicant for such ambitious jobs.

Challenges and Rewards from the Dialogue:

My dialogue experience did not match my initial expectations. At first, I feared of being vulnerable with the class, not being able to relate to others, judgement, and offending others. While I grew comfortable with vulnerability as the course progressed, dialogue was not always easy for me. When caucus groups were assigned, I had difficulty accepting an agent role. I felt misplaced because I receive financial aid and resonated with the struggles of students who could not afford to do the same activities nor learn as quickly as wealthier friends, as described in the article “What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League School” (Foster). This initially reduced the personal experiences I shared with my peers, but eventually I realized there were different levels within the agent group, and I started providing insightful examples. Dialogue challenged me by forcing me to think about topics I had never before thought of, demonstrating privilege in itself. Groups more capable of speaking on a topic tended to have related experiences and were more aware of the topic’s definition. For example, gentrification was initially unclear to some agents including myself, likely because I am unaffected by it, which prevented my participation at first. In contrast, agents were able to share their opinion of the American Dream, which could represent that we are privileged enough to still believe in a more successful future. The article “Education Gap Grows Between Rich and Poor, Studies Say” highlights this sentiment by revealing that SES affects a student’s level of education performance due to it allowing an agent student to afford better education and more available resources (Tavernise). Overall, I was still challenged throughout the semester to recognize ways in which I am privileged because I was unfamiliar with thinking this way. This made the education I gained about different SES lifestyles one of the most rewarding aspects of the course, because I gained an appreciation for my opportunities. Other rewarding aspects included the new friendships I formed with my classmates, the communication skills I developed, and the fact that a high SES student wanted to be an ally of removing the student contribution fee, my CLP project topic, upon being informed of its existence. If I were to participate in this dialogue again, I would be able to have valuable information to add when using the LARA method because of the insight I have gained throughout the semester. This would make dialogue more insightful with peers and may impact my relationships with others by allowing me to know how to listen and add information better. I feel prepared for potential situations in which someone enters the danger zone and I look forward to turning more conflicts into friendships, which I was unable to do prior to this course.

Future Implications:

An alliance in a social group identity context would involve an agent amplifying target concerns without becoming an inaccurate face of the issue. My previous experience with allyship took place during my first semester of Cornell, when I chose to join a Black Students Union silent protest in Willard Straight Hall, but I am ready to be more vocal. It is important to strive for equality and equity among all. In relation to dialoging and CLP, I have learned several lessons about collaborating across differences, including how people have been impacted by each of the topics in different ways, and everyone has reasons behind a stance. I also learned that some individuals are unaware of issues in which they could become allies for, as demonstrated by my CLP project. I would not have appreciated this without learning and practicing the LARA method, which has truly forced me to listen to others with empathy and share information. I have become inquisitive and more inclined to ask questions of those with opinions I may disagree with for the sake of learning. In addition, since my CLP group consisted of members of different races, genders, and SES, we were able to utilize our different networks and gather various perspectives for our project. This included dialoguing with each other during CLP meetings, and with those we interviewed on our project topic. Throughout the process of dialogue, I have become much more self-aware, leaning about my characteristics, preconceived notions, and sources of influence. I also learned that effective communication with my CLP was incredibly important in order to stay on task and have a successful final product. As mentioned earlier, I noticed group members take on certain leadership or follower roles based on their personality. I also realized the importance of recognizing social identities and status shape personalities and thus influence group roles. Concerning the topic of my CLP project, the impact of the student contribution fee, my goals involve continuing to raise awareness of the fee’s existence since I now know awareness can lead to allyship. My main concerns regarding these goals involve unintentionally making people uncomfortable about their lack of awareness of the student contribution fee. At Cornell, I expect to practice empathetic listening, strategic questioning, and being more vocal in situations which I hear something offensive or something I disagree with. I plan on being more confrontational in a respectful manner, using LARA and empathy to avoid arguments. I will also approach different perspectives with a more open mind, remembering that people have different reasons and influences that support their viewpoints. I look forward to tackling personal and interpersonal steps, changing my behavior towards strangers and attitude towards disagreement. Outside of Cornell, I would like to utilize my blog and social media presence to make a difference by vocalizing my concerns related to social injustices, especially related to the lack of environmental conscientiousness and lack of diversity in the finance world. I began pursuing this, as one of my most recent blog posts encourages readers to learn about climate change. In addition, I have been too afraid to apply for programs for women and diversity applicants, simply because I feel insecure by the programs targeting my social identity. However, I will make a personal goal to get into one of these programs and prove my ability to be successful in the financial services industry. Moving forward, I will address conflict with my closest friends using LARA and utilize my awareness of where I stand within the Cycle of Liberation to continue growing. Currently, I am in the process of exiting the “reaching out” phase, as I have learned from so many different perspectives throughout the course and am seeking opportunities to get more involved on campus. I have started questioning more opinions and dismantling my prior stereotypes or ignorance. I look forward to “building community” and later coalescing as I continue to dialogue with people from both similar and different backgrounds. If I apply what I have learned in dialogues to other aspects of my life, I expect the risk of losing friends when I start to question their beliefs. However, I believe that my friendships will become more meaningful as a result of us trying to better understand each other’s differences and influences based on my experience this semester. I expect the biggest challenge to come from my family members, as they are the reason for many of my initial beliefs prior to my enrollment in the course. They have had certain stances on topics for many years, but I hope to challenge them and grow closer by using my new skills. One obstacle I expect is the fear within myself to challenge those closest to me. I anticipate the reward of growing closer to friends, but I will need the support of other friends from this course, as well as my own commitment implementing a positive change. One reading that made me think in different ways was “From Guilt to Solidarity,” which outlined different types of responsibility and provided examples of how targets and agents can be considered responsible for the sweatshop injustice through consuming and voting. It also made me view my guilt as an agent in a different light, as finding a specific person or group guilty of a crime usually implies that others accused of the same crime are not guilty, which is not the case. In relation to sweatshops, many different people contribute to the injustice, and everyone needs to be aware of it.

Overall, I realize that I am both a target and an agent, and I still have much more to learn. I look forward to continuing practicing LARA, empathy, and strategic questioning in future conversations with family, friends, and strangers. I am also excited about raising awareness of the student contribution fee and other issues through respectful confrontation. Every agent can become an ally by simply learning about various forms of oppression, becoming more involved, and amplifying the concerns of those who are oppressed. I am going to make sure I become an ally for altruism by following through with my goals.

Bibliography

Ayvazian, A. (2010). Interrupting the Cycle of Oppression: The role of allies as agents of change.

In Adams et al. (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice (pp.45‐51). New York:

Routledge.

Bray, R. (2000). So How Did I Get Here? In Adams et al. (Eds.), Readings for diversity and

social justice (pp. 425-429). New York: Routledge.

Edwards, Keith E. “Aspiring Social Justice Ally Identity Development.” N.d. Keithedwards.com.

Foster, B. L. (2015, April 9). What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school? The Boston

Globe. Retrieved from https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2015/04/09/what-like-

poor-ivy-league-school/xPtql5uzDb6r9AUFER8R0O/story.html

Harro, B. (2010). "The Cycle of Liberation" in Adams et al., eds., Readings for Diversity and

Social Justice, 2nd ed. (Routledge, Taylor and Francis: New York), 52-58.

Harro, B. (2010). The Cycle of Socialization. In Adams et al. (Eds.), Readings for diversity and

social justice (pp.45‐51). New York: Routledge.

McCormick, D. (1999). Listening with Empathy: Taking the Other Person’s Perspective. NTL

Institute for Applied Behavioral Science (8th ed.), Reading Book for Human Relations

Training. Alexandria, VA: NTL Institute for Applied Behavioral Science. 57-60.

McIntosh, P. (1988). White privilege: Unpacking the invisible knapsack. Retrieved from

http://pages.towson.edu/garcia/INTRO/2011%20Fall%20Intro/WhitePrivilege.pdf

Peavy, F. (n.d.). Strategic Questioning: An Approach to Creating Personal and Social Change

(V. Hutchinson, Ed.). The Jobs Letter. Retrieved August 1, 2017, from

Tavernise, Sabrina. “Education Gap Grows Between Rich and Poor, Studies Say.” 9 February,

2012. Online article.

Yankelovich, D.  (1999). What makes Dialogue Unique?  The Magic of Dialogue: Transforming

Conflict into Cooperation. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. 35-57.

Young, I. (2003). From Guilt to Solidarity: Sweatshops and Political Responsibility. Dissent,

Spring: 39-45.